It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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