I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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