I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
