but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
