I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
