I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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