If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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