If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
