Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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