he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
