i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
