Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
