I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
