It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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