Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He passed out mid-signature
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
