What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
