my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
