Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i out mim tonsoeep
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