the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
