I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
