we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
