And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
