He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
