i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
