I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
