i think my tv is drunk
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
