...so i touched it.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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