Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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