I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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