remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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