I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
