So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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