Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
