so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
