I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
