I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
