therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
