Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
