I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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