I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
