My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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