ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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