And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
