Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My vagina just recognized that song.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
