Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
