so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
