You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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