I just made out with a guy for $7.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
