sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
