Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i've created a new STD.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
