My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
